Finding a new Normal

So we've had our beautiful little girl for almost 3 months and I cannot believe how blessed we are!  Josie has brought so much laughter and joy to all our lives.  Having said that, there have been some adjustments to make.


I have discovered the our small community grocery store is not very accessible for us.  It's a small store that doesn't allow you to take the shopping carts outside and when you are carrying a 3 year old who can't walk and you time it perfectly that you are done shopping just as the bag boy/receiver is unloading a truck, it's very hard to get your groceries outside.

I was very grateful for nap time for the first two months, ( I think we needed the nap more than she did!)

Tickle time is the best time of the day!

Finding a family doctor is next to impossible! Still looking for one and all I need is a referral to a paediatritian.  I've called every doctor in town and they all say to call healthcare connect.  Healthcare connect says they will look for us but no promises so don't discontinue my own search.  If my search was at all productive I wouldn't need their "help".

Special needs equiptment is bloody expensive!  Just got a stroller/wheelchair for $2000 and yes, there are supposed to be 3 zeros in that!  A small table to with a cutout for a wheelchair is $700.  Thank goodness for funding!

I am finding a whole new community of special needs parents out there.  Hi Y'all!

Josie was dedicated at our church 2 weeks ago.  I didn't realize how big our family was until I saw us taking up 2 rows of chairs in church and we were missing a couple people.

I am looking forward to my sister in law coming home from China and meeting her niece.  I know they will love each other.

Josie got to meet Rick Hansen when his Man in Moth 25 Year anniversary tour came through Belleville.  I was more excited than she was but hopefully some say she will appreciate how cool that was!

I am blessed beyond what is "normal"

Wow.  WE are adopting a child.  They are actually willing to give US a kid.

There has been a lot of information exchanged in various ways. There have been telephone calls, visits from workers, pictures, video, filling out of forms.  There will be more telephone calls, more forms, more meetings.

We have two more weeks of "adoption course" left  and our home study will be started in April, though we have already been filling out paperwork for it (references and medicals).

We will go to the child's CAS on April 7th to meet all the people involved with him, (workers, foster parent, daycare workers) and have a "Formal case disclosure" meeting.  We will get to have all his information and history and after the meeting we get to go meet him.  We imagine pre-placement visits will be set up at this point and then in a few months, he would be moving in with us.

As excited as I am, I sometimes still can't believe this is all happening.  Matt and I are discussing things like "Do we change his middle name to something of significance to our family"  "Which car seat do we want to buy".  It's so out of what our norm has been for the last several years. We will have a toddler in the house!

My heart sometimes feels like it is going to burst wide open.  Just seeing his pictures and video, I love him already. 

Disclaimer attached

I know this one will probably offend someone...Sorry in advance but like you are entitled to your feelings and beliefs I also have mine.  Here is your chance to navigate to a different web page....


So you are still here, don't say I didn;'t give ya chance to go.

I am struggling with the concept of grace lately.   The definition of grace is "unmerited favor given by God"  Ok...so let break that down a bit.

Unmerited  something we do not deserve, it is not given by merit.  Fairly straight forward.
Favor a gift, overgenerous preferential treatment, an attitude of aproval or liking. God gave us favor. I can't count how many times in the bible and in the time since that God has shown his children favor.  Delivering the Isrealites from Egypt, allowing His Son to die for our sins. Need I say more?
Given by God it comes from God.

I don't belive that I can give grace to a person.  But that is subject to my interpretation of the word.  I believe that I can still love a person even though I do not agree with their choices. I believe that part of loving them is letting them know that what they are doing is sin. I don't think that doing that is judgment. I don't think that when I stand firm in my beliefs that I am condeming anyone.  I have a responsibility to show my kids what is right and wrong and that it is a fine line to traverse between showing love and condoning sin. The line is finer still when small eyes are watching and learning by my example.

Grace is not license to sin.  God is not going to say "oh dear.  John is sinning again and sleeping with his friends wife.  Well, can't do anything about that because he is to be given grace"  God might give you a slip up or two.  He might see how you respond to his corrections but he isn't going to sit back and let you sin with out giving you a swift kick eventually.

And don't we justify our sins so creatively?  We pretend that the sin is what God wants for us or how He created us.  If that's the case then I am just big boned!
My favorite one is God wants me to be happy.  Yes!  Yes he does. BUT if you have to sin to be happy then there is a problem. I've said it before and I will say it again.  My God is big enough to fix the problem and have you happy at the same time. If your sin is making you happy I am pretty sure it ain't gonna be for long. He might ask you to do some work to get you back to happy in your situation but I can promise you that if you continue to refuse Him and what he wants from you, you will soon find out what the belly of a whale smells like (metaphorically speaking).

I am certain that I have more to learn about grace, academically and practically, and I may change my view somewhat at some point, but this is where I am at right now. So in the words of the great philosopher, Forest Gump "that's all I got to say about that"

A journey

Our family is starting a new journey...and it is already proving to be an emotional one. 
To give you a little history, 12  years ago this week, I was admitted to hospital.  My youngest child (Max) was due to join in in a month but things were not going as planned.  My blood pressure was dangerously high and tests revealed that my kidneys were failing.  I had experienced pre-eclampsia in my previous pregnancy but this pregnancy had kicked it up to a new level.  The doctors decided that I was in bad shape and it was time to have a baby.  Along came Max, a month early and 8lbs 7ozs.  Later the doctors told me that to get pregnant again might put my life in danger.  We wanted more kids but we also wanted that they would have two parents to raise them.

Skip ahead 7 years...we had always wanted more kids but knew that having them the conventional way was out of the question.  We started fostering children and are still doing that.  We have added some wonderful people to our family, both children and adults. I have a wonderful friend made after her son was placed in our home. 
It's not always been smooth sailing but I wouldn't change it for the world.

A few weeks ago...we are starting new again.  We have put in our application to adopt.  God showed us a little guy and we have expressed our interest in having him be part of our family.  I have heard from his worker and received some information about him.  I can only refer to him as J as we aren't able to reveal any information about him at this time.
We also shared information about ourselves, which felt weird.  I felt like I was trying to sell myself.  A saleman I am not, so I hope I did ok and the worker liked what she heard.  Matt and I have discussed what we learned about the little guy and we are going to continue this pursuit.  So now we wait. The worker said she wanted to talk to her superviser and also to our resource worker about us.  She said she would call us back in January.  

In Ontario, there are 2 requirements for adoption. The adoptive parents have to do a 9 week course called PRIDE.  We are registered and will start in January.  A homestudy is also required and children's aid tells us we wait to hear whether we are a "match" for this child.  If we are deemed suitable parents then his adoption worker will request that our CAS do a homestudy (he lives a few hours away from us, so our society does the homestudy for convenience).

I am feeling positve that this is the child for us.  God has been very clear.  I pray that he works in that workers heart and shows her the same things he has shown us.  If you are reading this, would you please agree with us in prayer for the following things:  that the process is smooth and quick and that the worker decides we are the right family for J.

Deck the Halls

Christmas is coming...the tree is up and the topper is crooked.  The rest of the decortions are still in the dust covered totes.  I'm not really itchen to put them up or dust off the totes because that will make me itch.
 
I am looking forward to Christmas, mostly the food.  We have the BEST breakfast on Christmas morning! 

Picture this.  Hot waffles (homemade) Real maple syrup, Straberries and whipped creme (the real stuff not the petroleum based stuff that leaves the coating on the room of your mouth that leaves you wondering if you are now a fire hazard)  Bacon and OJ and Coffee.  All served on the best china and with the OJ in wine glasses.  I put more effort into that breakfast than any turkey dinner I've ever made. I have been having that breakfast since I was a little girl and when my husband suggested we do something else this year, he was quickly shot down. Don't mess with my waffles!  Besides that's all I plan to cook that day so he'd better fill up.
SO....the next item to be tackled is presents.  I am pretty much done shopping thanks to a girls weekend to the outlet malls in early November but for the last couple items.  What do you get 2 boys that have no need for more video games and no real appreciations for clothes (I'm sure they only wear what they have because the law says they must)  I'm open for suggestions people!!

Mash Up!

It's been a tough couple weeks.  It started when I found out that a friend from highschool had passed away, he was only 37.  Then ten days later another highschool friend was gone  and in the same day I found out a third highschool friend is very likely terminally ill.  All three men have children. 
It really made me take stock of my life.  Question what is really important.  Before this I was pretty sure I had my priorities straight but now I am making some adjustments.
Good-bye to two good men, Bryce and Vince.  Get well J.  Please.

On a lighter note...when I was just a kid (probably 6 or 7)  I snuck downstaris to watch tv after my parents had gone to bed.  I had to watch what ever channel had been on last as turning the antennae to get another station surly would have woken up y mom and dad. On came this awesome musical and I was hooked.  I sat there in the middle of the night unable to take my eyes off the tube (tv's really had tubes back then)  I remembered that movie for the last 30 years, never being able to find it again.  I can remember bits of the songs  and the warm fuzzy feeling it gave me.

My husband is watching the Grey Cup tonight and I decided to retreat to my bedroom with my laptop and my Netflix subscription.  There I sat searching for the right movie...one that would drown out the announcer, the cheering of my husband and sons and the impromptu nerf football games that were destined to erupt on commercial breaks.  A tall order for any movie.  I wanted something happy so I went to the musicals...I usually sing along to the songs so I figured if the footballers were loud well  I could sing louder! 

I came across that musical from a late night 30 years ago.  I didn't really figure out it's message back then but I sat there tonight, not singing a word and not hearing the revalry from the next room.  I was focused on His message.  My all time favorite movie written about my all time favorite person.  The message was the gospel of Matthew in the movie "Godspell"  I got that warm feeling back from 30 years ago but this time it wasn't just the music.  It was the knowledge of what God did in sending His son to die on the cross, all that he has to teach us  and the wonderful things that are still gonna happen.

G'night folks

My First Time. G rated!

I am definately new to Blogging.  I have friends who blog and their words are elegant, their thoughts refined.  Mine won't be, but if you know me at all, you know you'll read what I am thinking, no holds barred.

I have been described as a bull in a china shop, I've been told I can be harsh.  I'm sorry.  I really do try not to offend and my opinion may be different from yours.  That's ok.  There is no rule that says we have to have the same opinion and if we don't...well I am pretty sure the sun will still rise in the morning and set at night.  Lives will not be lost and I will continue to be your friend.

There is going to be no specific theme to this blog except for the day to day ramblings of my increasingly scattered mind.  It may contain the conversations I have with myself (yes they are 2 sided and out loud, but I usually win any arguments that occur).  It may be whatever happend to be forefront in my life that day/hour or minute moment of time.

So if you can put up with me, I hope you will read what I write, when I can write (I'm a mom of 4 so I'll be here when I can).